- Kemba Zola
Slow Down
So far from where I started out
so far from where I wanna be
listening for answers in the wind
But can’t find a rock to plant my feet
At an early age the hustle was all around. Fast paced environment. Few had money from 9-5’s, some from illegal activities, but most funds from unknown sources. Street skills were learned consciously or not. Losing not optional was a mantra. Life lessons were about the here and now not the future, unless the future meant upcoming weekend or summer. For males the future had no meaning past the age of 25 because statistics suggested a black man in Oakland, CA and other inner cities would be dead or serving a prison life sentence. For females, being attached to these same males either by kin or partnership meant having some sort of attachment to the fast lifestyle. This time period represented the greater part of the 1980’s through the mid 1990’s.
Looking for love in all the wrong places
Down on my knees and now I'm praying for patience
I know there's gotta be a better way
In the back of my mind I hear my granny say
Slow down, Baby you're going too fast
You got you hands in the air
With you feet on the gas
You're 'bout to wreck your future
Running from your past
You need to slow down baby
Enter the beginning of a new millennium. A young single mother of a daughter. The hustle is real and the struggle can not be sold. No formal education, only God, recommended and consistent reading can save this life. Steady job headed towards career path. Real Estate license, Notary commission, and a family full of cheers. All available tools with no working knowledge of how to properly use them. It’s got to be a better way.
Thinking the faster that I go
The faster (that) I will reach my goal
The race is not given to the swift
But to the one who endureth
I thought that all my obstacles were behind me
Walking around like I'm made out of diamond
I tripped and fell and it reminded me
Move over and let my angels guide me
Life is speeding, time waits for no one. Blend a family, get married, and buy a house; all by the age of 30. Pictures tell a thousand words to the eye of the beholder. It is not always factual truth. Boys will age, but not mature. Girls will learn to be mothers and head of the household. This is not natural, however it becomes a normal thing. This is part of the hustle. It looks like success, yet it is only chaos and confusion. The crash and burn is approaching.
Sometimes, you got-ta, be still
Before you can get ahead
Be still
Ask the universe for help
Be real
You can't do it all by yourself
Ah, no no
Sometimes, sometimes you gotta be still
It take some time to reach you and they
Be still
Take some time to clear your space
Be real
Chaos isn't good for your health
Ah, no no, ahhh
Never afraid of change. Getting back to basics. Created in His image, all things are possible. Packed life up. Move from California to Texas. Sat still with Allah. Learned He is the place of refuge from anxiety and grief, lack of strength and laziness, cowardice and niggardliness, debt and the oppression of men. Only God can give one what is lawful and keep away what is prohibited. He is sufficient. It was time to break from the broken pieces. Sever bonds that would not grow. Losing is not optional. The moment came to be a ferocious and fearless lion.
Cuz I'm breaking things and losing things
I lost my cell phone again the other day
Now, I don't wanna live this way, no
In the back of my mind I hear my granny say
Slow down, Baby you're going too fast
You got you hands in the air
With you feet on the gas
You're 'bout to wreck your future
Running from your past
You need to slow down
You go down baby
There is a right tool for everything. A fast paced lifestyle does not afford the ability to take inventory of the blessings readily available. Unsupervised direction during teenage years. The age of the 20’s presented a young female adult taking on full life responsibilities in an immature manner. The early 30’s was about coming out of chaos and confusion. The building of success started by the mid 30’s. Yesterday’s were striped away. A clean and purified state began to form. It is this time, through self discipline and Allah’s permission, total submission occurred. Childhood friend became the needed husband. Distractions were minimized to a controllable level. Opted to become success instead of the fictitious version of what it is supposed to look like. Continuous practice pausing with emotional intelligence instead of reacting out of negative emotion is a daily goal. Striving to become the example never known. Above all Allah is the center, in the center is where one should look to find all things of importance. Thanking Allah for the crash and burn to be made anew.
Lyrics to India Arie “Slow Down” infused with the writers personal testimony.
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